Dick Casablancas, what a marshmallow
by Alina89
Summary: Dick and Mac meet after the Neptune Grand thing. Will they find a way to get together? Missunderstandings guaranteed. NO S3, AU MADI COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing

**AN:** This is some sort of a sequel to my first MA/Di fic _The one she should have always been with_ but you don't need to read it to understand this one.

I'm not a native speaker so I'm truly sorry if there are too many mistakes. Feel free to correct me.

(more info at the last chapter...)

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**Dick Casablancas, what a marshmallow**

To say Dick was surprised as Veronica called him was an understatement. After all that happened, he thought he would never hear from her again. That she called because of Mac was even more surprising. Why should he care about Ghostworld. But still here he was, outside of her room, knocking on her door. He was glad that he had been sober at the time Veronica called. It was some kind of a miracle these days.

"Leave me alone, mom! I don't want to talk to anybody right now."

"It's me...Dick!"

After some seconds passed she finally told him to come in. He didn't know what he expected when he entered her room but this was defintely not something he expected. He wasn't so sure about not being sober anymore.

There she was, lying on her bed, handkerchiefs spread out all over the place, the room dark like it was in the middle of the night and not in the afternoon. The most disturbing thing for him was the look in her eyes. Confused, surprised and mostly sad, depressed, lost. It somehow broke his heart and he needed all his will-power not to break right in front of her.

"Dick?"

He didn't even bother to answer that question. He knew she wasn't asking if it was him, she just wanted to know why he was here. He simply sat down on her bed right next to her, leaning against the wall.She got herself up to a sitting position and leaned on the wall herself. For some minutes she just stared at him, trying to understand this whole situation until she realised what she was doing. Staring at her dead-ex-boyfriend's brother wasn't something she wanted to do rigt now. Seeing him here next to him brought only the memories back that she had tried to forget for the last days.

Tears formed in her eyes and ran slowly down her cheek. As Dick turned to face her, she saw that there were some wet trails on his cheeks too.

The next thing they knew, they were lying in each others arms, embracing. Dick tried to comfort her. If somebody had told him this morning he'd be hugging the computer chick his brother went out with and actually feeling better and safe he would have told him to go and see a shrink as soon as possible. The fact that he was crying right in front of her and that it didn't bother him at all was rather disturbing. Dick Casablancas was not the type of guy who cried and especially not in front of some chick he barely knew. No, that wasn't quite true. In this very moment the girl in his arms new more about him than anybody else ever could. And he probalby knew more about her than he ever would know about anybody else.

It wasn't until her mother called that dinner was ready and asked if Dick wanted to stay that they realised how long they had been like this. Mac told her that they weren't hungry, but Dick was already about to get up. He was thinking about leaving. Not that he wanted to, he'd never felt that calm and relaxed since his brothers dead, but this whole situation was kind of akward. Her voice startled him.

"Don't leave...please?"

This was all he needed to know. Both knew that this day would change their relationship forever. They both had changed even before this day on their own but this was something very different. Neither of them was the person they had been before anymore and neither of them could be like them ever again. Dick wasn't even so sure if he ever wanted to be like that again.

Time passed by as they drifted to sleep. Mac first. Dick watched the girl in his arm sleeping, her breath slow and steady until he was fast asleep himself. His last thought was that he could get used to this. Not the grief of course but the fact that he was going to sleep with a girl in his arms who undersood him completely at this very moment. Dick Casablancas, what a marshmallow.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing

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Waking up with a guys arm around your shoulder and your head on his chest was something new to Mac. But she liked it. Even if she wouldn't admit it yet, she liked it a lot. She didn't knew how much time had passed since she fell asleep in Dicks arms, but wether it was only ten minutes or ten hours she felt better.

She didn't want to leave him but the bathroom was calling to her. Trying not to wake him up, Mac left her bed. She only got a few inches away until Dick was up. He murmured something she couldn't understand so she tried to wake him up completely now. It was not as easy as she thought it would be. Dick was definitely not a morning person. It kind of freaked her out to now this about one Dick Casablancas. Never in her life had she even thought about knowing these things about him.

Finally excepting that this wasn't going to work, she hurried into the bathroom and went quickly back into the bed, resting her head on his chest again. Dick immediatly put his one arm back around her shoulder and the other around her waist. Yeah, she could definitely get used to it. But she knew that they had to talk sometime soon. About his brother, about her feelings of guilt, his feelings of guilt and last but not least this thing going on between them. If you could even call it a thing. She was not quite sure if she wanted it to be a thing. Not if Dick hand't changed at all. But she coulnd't, didn't want to believe that this was not affecting him at all. Not after this last night that Dick and her had spent together. Wow, she never thought she would use this sentence with the name Dick in it. But here she was, lying in a bed with him. Enjoying the feeling of his steady heartbeat underneath her. She hadn't felt so good since the thing with Cassidy. She felt tears forming in her eyes again and not soon after she was crying silently, her tears falling on Dicks chest. His shirt was soon soaked in the salty liquid.

Dick woke up startled. Where the hell was he? What was this sound and why was his chest so wet? Just as he felt the weigt on his chest he realized what was going on. What had been going on. He was at Macs and it was her, who made this sound because she was crying. Dick gently lifted her head. He could see the pain in her eyes, the guilt the grief. He knew what had made her that upset. Beav- Cassidy. He didn't want to see her in pain. He wanted to help her but didn't know how. So he just held her more tightly.

Since when was he caring so much about this girl in his arms. Since when did he care about any other than himself. Oh yeah, since he realized that if he had cared more about his brother he wouldn't have gone all psychotic murderer. He wanted to punch himself really hard right now.

Mac knew something was wrong. She saw the anger in Dicks eyes. Was he angry with her? But why? Had she done something wrong? Couldn't he beare seeing her crying?

"Dick?"

He didn't even look at her.

"Dick! What's wrong? "

"What is wrong? What is wrong? What do you think is wrong? My brother got molested by some psychotic guy and blew up a bus so that noone would ever new. And i didn't even notice something until it all was too late. Its my fault all this shit happened."

He didn't want to take his anger out on her but he could'nt stop it. At first she looked shocked but then he could see understanding in her eyes.

"Don't look at my like you understand. The hell you do!"

"Of course I understand. He was my boyfriend! I spent so much time with him. I thought I knew him. If it's somebodys fault than it's mine!"

Dicks anger quickly faded.

"No",he said gently,"It's not your fault. It's mine... He was my little brother and I should have been there for him. I wasn't. It's all my fault."

Dick felt the tears coming, but he didn't care. Mac took his head in her hands and wiped his tears away.

"It's not your fault. And neither it's mine. He's the one to blame. He didn't talk to anybody about Woody."

"He had nobody to talk to! I wasn't there for him!"

"Maybe that's true. But this doesn't mean that it was the right thing to blew up a bus full of pupils. No, if it's anybodys fault than it's his."

"Maybe your right. But this doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty anymore."

"Neither do I. But we just have to try. We have to live again. How did Robert Frost say: In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."

"You're such a nerd!"

"I know." She blushed.

"I like that."

"You do?"

"Why not?"

"Dick Casablancas telling me that he likes nerds. What is the problem here?"

"Okay maybe you're right, but this doesn't mean that I don't like you."

"Alright now. It seems the time has come to have a talk. About us."

"Us?"

"Yeah, you know. You, me, us. Don't you think this whole situation is a little bit weird? And now you're telling me that you like me. Don't get me wrong. I think I like you too. This you. Not the Dick who didn't care about anybody but him. And now I don't know who you're going to be in the end. Is this just some phase or did you really change?"

"Does this mean, you didn't like the beloved Dick Casblancas?"

He tried to turn this all into a joke but failed miserably.

"Dick. Please answer me. If you say no then please leave. I couldn't take this. I want you to be my friend – "

"Mac – "

"No, let me finish. I don't know why but it seems to me that you're the only person who can understand me. And I need this person right now. But if you're going to leave sooner or later then please leave right now. I don't want to rely on you just to let you leave me. It would be better then if I try to get things right on my own."

"Can I say something now? Okay listen. I can't promise that I wouldn't change back. Hell, I'm not sure if I even changed that much... No, don't look at me like that. Did you really think the person you saw in Highschool was all that was in me? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that wasn't really me. I acted that way because it was easier for me. My family was fucked up.Well now it is even more so, but it always wasn't the family one would wish for. My father was mostly on some businesstrips or something. Mom left us when I was like ten or something. And I think I don't have to tell you how Kendall was. Pretending to don't care at all was my only option. But now, after Cassidys death I know I don't have to wear that mask anymore. It's not like anybody cared anyway. I know nobody really liked the Dick I played. Nobody's going to miss him. But to the point. I want to be there for you. The last night was the best I had like ever. And this has to mean something if a great part of this night was me crying in front of you. I don't have to tell you that Dick Casablancas doesn't cry in front of chicks ever... I need you too. It seems I have nobody left but you and that scares me. I barely knew you, but I don't think I actually knew soembody at all. I don't want to leave. I want to get through this whole mess and it seems that nobody but you is going to help me, actually wants to help me. At least that's what I hope. I want to try. And now I made a bloody fool of myself by being all mushy!"

"No you didn't. I had no clue about all of this. I don't know what you want to hear from me right now. I don't know what to say."

"Just don't tell me to leave. Of course I have to leave sometime, because I'm going to need some different clothes sometime, but you know what I mean."

"Okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Dick felt himself relax again. He should feel afraid right now, because he never told anyone the things he just told Mac, but he wasn't. He felt relieved, like some big weight had just been lifted off his chest.

He leaned back in the bed and Mac joined him. He really liked the feeling of her body against his. He felt himself drifting to sleep again when he head her voice whispering.

"Dick?"

"Mmm?"

"What you told me about your family? Well I have a secret of my own about this topic."

"Do you want to tell me? You don't have to, you know?"

"No, that's not the problem."

"Then spit it out."

"I was switched at birth, with Madiscon Sinclair."

"You what?"

"Yeah I know. Pretty heavy. I should be an 09er."

"Wow."

"Does this change anything?"

"What do you mean? Of course not."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Rob's the Man! I don't own anything except for the plot.

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Mac couldn't believe it. Dick had visited her yesterday. He actually slept with her. Not slept with but together in her own bed embracing each other and maybe evn cuddling a bit and she didn't mind at all. He had also told her some things he most likely never told anybody else before. She wasn't even sure, if he told her the truth or if it all was just a game. She hoped that he had been serious. But who would have thought that Dick wasn't that big dick everybody thought he was. And the most disturbing thing she remembered was telling him things in return, she never would have even dreamed about telling anybody and especially not Dick. So what had happened yesterday? Dick had told her that he liked her and before he went home to change clothes, he actually asked her to hang out some time. And she agreed. She would go this afternoon over to his house, Cassidys house, to play some video games. How could she even possibly think that she could go to that house after all that happened and that there would be tons of things reminding her of him. But Dick had looked so lost and sad when she hesitated that she had no other choice than to agree.

Now she stood before her mirror and wondered what she could be wearing later. And this definitely had to mean something, because Mac had never been the girl who actually bothered about something like that. So she just grabbed something out of her closet, put it on and went outside to her car. She really loved her car. Mac could still remember how she got the money to buy it. The whole school didn't know who the person was that distributed all the purity-test scores. Well, maybe everyone except for Veronica.

Veronica. Mac almost forgot that it was probably her who had told Dick to see her. She needed to know what the hell she was thinking.

Mac grabbed her phone out of her bag and dialed Veronicas number.

"Yeah?"

"Veronica? It's me, Mac."

"Mac? Finally, the girl is talking to someone again!"

"Yeah about that. What made you think that you could tell Dick to come and look after me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play with me, Veronica. I know it was you. Who else would have had the idea to pull something like that?"

"But it worked, didn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not what I meant."

"I'm sorry Mac, but I need to hang up now. Logan's waiting. Talk to you later!"

Before she could even response to that the line was already dead. Veronica surely knew how to get out of uncomfortable situations.

As it was already getting late Mac got into her car and made her way up to Dick's mansion. When she arrived, he was already waiting impatiently. She could see that he was waiting behind the front door, because she catched him sneaking out of the window looking for her. She got out of her car and walked over to the front door. Before she could even knock or something like that, Dick had already opened the door. Awkwardly standing in front of each other for several seconds, Dick was the first one to move.

Embracing her in a big hug he wispered into her ear: "I'm glad that you're here." Stepping back again he took her hand in his own and started to drag her inside.

"If I wouldn't know better, I would think that you already missed me. We didn't see each other for maybe five hours."

Although she wouldn't admit it, she really had misssed him and him wispering into her ear just seconds before had made her lightly shiver.

He still hold onto her hand ignoring her remark and went into the living room.

What Mac saw ther caught her beath. She didn't expect this after Dick asked her to hang out and play some video games. He had bought – or maybe he had them before – nearly hundred different video games. Most of the titles Mac noticed being of games that were her favourite ones or some she always wanted to have but couldn't afford to buy. In front of the couch were tons of pillows and blankets which made Mac want to just throw herself onto them and make herself very comfortable. Dick had also bought tons of food. Chinese take-out, noodles, pizza, chocolate, ice cream, marshmallows and much more. Even things she could eat inspite of being vegan. How the hell did he manage to get all that in only 5 hours. She didn't even know how long he had been waiting for her.

After some seconds she finally got her attention back to Dick, who was standing in front of her, a worried expression on his face.

"Sorry, I was just a bit overwhelmed about all this. What did you just say?"

"I told you that I was sorry if the food was already cold. Maybe we should heat it up in the microwave."

"You know how to use a microwave?"

"Dude, it's the only way I know how to make some warm food other than having it delivered, " Dick answered maybe a litlle bit shyly. His cheeks getting a glimpse of red on them. If Mca wouldn't know better she would have that that he looked quite embarrassed.

"Well then, let's just do it."

"Do it?" Dick looked startled.

"Yeah, you know? Put the food in the microwave?"

"Oh...er...sure."

They both took as much food from the take-out boxes as the could hold and walked into the kitchen. Dick was in front of her as he lost his balance and tripped over his own foot. Before he could steady himself Mac, who couldn't really see because of all the food in her arms walked right into him and both of them fell to the floor. Mac landed on top of him and managed to crush the food inbetween her chest and his back. Dick tried to turn himself over and managed to hit her with his elbow right in the face.

"Ouch"

They both managed to stand up after nearly falling to the floor again the floor being slippery because all the food was spread over it.

"Oh Mac I'm so sorry. One of the boxes started to slip and I tried to prevent it. I didn't notice the step and stumbled over it. Did I hurt you?"

"Other than my bleeding nose, I think I'm fine."

Just then did Dick notice the red drops coming from her nose and dropping onto her shirt. But not only was there blood on her shirt but nearly every inch of it was covered in food. Dick started to laugh histerically.

"Jeez, thanks. Just laugh at me after you hit me in the face. That's just nice."

"Dude, you should see how your shirt looks."

"Well, yours doesn't look that bad either."

Dick looked down his chest but couldn't find much food on it."Dude what are you talking about?"

Now was Macs turn to laugh at him. "Just look at your back."

Dick tried to do just that but he still copuldn't see much. He went to the nearest mirror.

Mac followed him and as they both looked at themselves, being covered in food and Mac also bleeding they started to laugh. It was hard to breathe and Mac thought that she would die of laughing. After nearly five minutes of heavy laughing both of them finally calmed down. They still smiled at each other but had regained their control. Dick noticed some piece of tomato in Macs hair and gently pulled it out.

"You know, I haven't laughed that much since...since...you know?", he said.

"Yeah, me too."

"I think you would look really hot with red hair."

"You think?"

"Mmh."

Some tomato flew directly into her hair. Mac hadn't seen it coming. Dick had somehow managed to distract her while taking some tomato off of his back and throwing it at her.

"Red really suits you."

"Dick Casablancas! What the hell did you think you were doing? Do you know what this means?"

"I have no idea", he said smirking.

"Food war!"

Needless to say that neither of them got to think about Cassidy this afternoon.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Rob´s the Man! I don't own anything except for the plot.

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"I had a good time yesterday, you know?", Mac heard Dick talking through the phone.

"Yeah me too."

They had spent the rest of the day together. After they finally called it a truce Mac had asked him if she could use their bathroom to shower. She was a little bit embarassed but Dick casually shrugged it off and gave her some clothes of his own. Although they never were to fit Mac she took them and actually felt very comfortable. They smelled so much like Dick and remembered her of they night they spent together. Dick had taken a shower, too and then they had played games for several hours until Mac had realized how late it was and that she needed to go home. Although her mother was glad that she finally got out of her room again she wouldn't appreciate her being that late.

Dick had accompanied her to her car and Mac was sure that there had been a moment when Dick hesitated if he should kiss her. But before he could even move to her, she had already given him a little peck on the cheek and gotten into her car. Before she finally pulled out of the yard she had told him to call her sometime.

And that's what he was doing right now. It had been maybe 6 hours since they last saw each other. It was still very early in the morning and Mac hadn't expected him to call ther that early. She had expected him to sleep until some time in the afternoon and maybe calling her in the evening. Couldn't sleep? Just like her? Mac had stayed the whole night awake, thinking about her day with Dick and Dick in general. Although she wouldn't admit it to herself she hadn't had that good time for a long time.

"...s alright?", Dick asked her. She didn't even realize that she fell back to her thinking and didn't pay attention to Dick anymore.

"Huh? What did you just say?"

"You seem to space out a lot lately."

"How do you now that this isn't my thing? How do you know I don't do that all the time?"

"Oh, I know that you normally don't do that a lot. Believe me, I know." Mac could nearly hear the smirk Dick probably had right now through the phone.

"So are you ever going to tell me what you said before or should I try to use my abilities to read minds?", Mac asked sarcastilly. She hated it that Dick could get under her skin so easily.

"I just wanted to know if everything was alright", he returned somewhat hurt.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn' sleep that well last night."

"Nightmares?"

"Well, no...err...you know...just..thinking." Now she couldn't even talk properly. How the hell did Dick do that?

"Were you thinking about me?"

"NO! Of course not." Did she disagree to obvious? She was thinking about him all the time. But he didn't need to know that.

"Oh yeah...so, doyouwannahangouttoday?"

"What did you just say? I didn't quite understand."

"Err...do you wanna hang out today? Maybe watching some movies or something?"

Mac hesitated for some seconds. Did she really want to do just that? Hang out with Dick? Again? It would be the third day in a row. Hell yes!

"You know you don't have to if you – "

"No, I would love to do so." Did she just say she would LOVE to do so?

"Good, so what do you want to do then?"

"Watching movies sounds good."

"Shall I come over to your place?"

"No!"

"Yeah maybe that wouldn't be the best idea. I can understand that your parents probably don't like me. I just thought with him having lived here and everything –"

"No, Dick, that's not what I meant. My parents are just a little bit weird you know? My mom's getting all giddy if she knew that a boy would come over."

"So I'm just a boy?" And the smirk was back again.

"You know what I mean!"

"Yeah. So five o'clock chez moi? A rendez-vous?"

At this statement Mac had to laugh real hard. Between her giggles she managed to get her answer out. "If you want to call it that you little french-lover then yes I'll be there by five. Do you want me to bring something along?"

"No, I think I'll got it covered."

"Then until then I think."

"Yeah. Oh and Mac?"

"Yeah?"

"Wear something sexy!"

"Pervert!"

"At your service!", and with that Dick hung up and the line went dead.

* * *

As Mac was about to leave she heard her phone ring. After finally finding it in her purse spending several seconds searching it, she didn't even bother to look at the caller-id.

"Dick! I'm just about to leave. I'll be there in a few-"

"Dick?", a female voice asked. Veronicas voice asked. 'Oh shit! This could become an interesting conversation'

"Veronica? Hey! What do you want?"

"First of all I want to know why you think Dick was calling you? And where the hell have you been yesterday? After our telephone call where we couldn't really talk I tried to reach you like five times but you didn't answer. I even drove to your house but your mom just said that you went out. Explain!"

"I thought you were Dick because I'm about to meet him in a few minutes.And I didn't answer your calls yesterday because I had been at Dicks already."

"You and Dick?"

"Yeah me and Dick."

"Wow!"

"What do you mean Veronica?"

"Mac. It's just you know, you and Dick. I didn't know you would get along so well. Just...be careful."

"What is that supposed to mean? You were the one who told Dick to meet me in the first place. And now I should be careful?" Mac voice was going louder.

"I just thought that you perhaps needed someone to talk to you after what happened with Cassidy. Someone who understood your feelings. I would have talked to you myself but I couldn't, you know? Not after what he had done to me. But Dick, he ist still the Dick we knew in highschool."

"I'm sorry for you Veronica. I really am but Dick is the only person at the moment I like to hang out with . And I don't think that you actually know him very well."

"But – "

"No! You were right. I needed someone to talk to – I still need someone to talk to – and Dick's just the right person at the moment. I really need to go now. We'll talk later. Maybe. Bye."

She hated to talk like that to Veronica, but she was wrong. She had to be wrong. Dick had changed. He wasn't this jerk anymore. And she liked him. She really liked him.

She heard a knock on her door to her room.

"Mom! Leave me alone. I'm about to leave. What do you want?"

"It's me, Dick."

"Come in."

Mac felt embarrased. How long had he been standing in front of her door? How much had he heard? She saw Dick stepping into her room, blushing lightly.

"What is it that I have on me that makes you think I'm your mother all the time?"

"What are you doing here?"

"As this is a date I thought I should pick you up, you know? The ordinary routine of a date. Guy picks up girl, they go on the date. Guy takes her home. Guy walks her to her door. Guy – " Dick stopped abruptly. Next thing on the list would have been 'Guy kisses girl good-night'. As if the whole situation wasn't awkward enough already.

"So, how much did you hear?"

"About the time you told Veronica that she was the one who told me to see you."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Well, thanks."

"For what?"

"Defending me? Trusting me? Talking to me? I don't know. Why do you even put up with me? After all that I have done. Even if I was just playing along, I sometimes really believed I was this person, this jerk. What makes you believe that this is the real Dick? That this is me? I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you to treat me that well. You should hate me. I hate myself. And now I even wanted to go out with you. I'm sorry. I think I should leave now."

Before Mac could even think what she was doing, she walked over to him and took his hand in hers. Dick was looking down so she took his cheek with her other hand and held up his head. She looked him deep in the eyes. His wonderful blue eyes. She never noticed before how beautiful they actually were. A teardrop fell down out of one of his eyes and ran down his cheek. Mac gently wiped it away with her thumb.

"You are not that person anymore. You were there for me. You told me things about yourself. You trusted me. Yesterday had been great. You are not that jerk anymore, do you understand? I meant everything I said to Veronica. I need you."

Dick was speechless. He couldn't resist anymore. After their talk in the morning he finally realized that he wanted to kiss her since the first time he saw her after what happened to his brother. He knew it was wrong, because she had been his grilfriend and everything but after these last words his resistance broke and he leaned forward.

The kiss was careful at first but after he felt Mac giving into him the kiss grew more and more demanding. They were so near each other there was no air left between them. Dick felt Macs hands in his hair while he was running his hands in smoothing circles all over her back. Not until they had no more air left did they broke the kiss.

Mac took a step back. She was blushing heavily and her heart raced. Her breathing was out of control. Dick didn't look that different. His hair was a mess. He looked as nearly as shocked as she did.

After some seconds, Dick closed the gap and kissed her again. This time Mac broke the kiss right away.

"What? Sorry. I didn't meant to...I thought you...", Dick stuttered. He turned and walked towards the door.

"It's just that...I don't know. This is going so fast."

Dick turned around again, heading for her. He took her hands gently in his.

"I know."

"Maybe we should slow down a little bit."

"Yeah maybe you're right."

"We barely know each other."

"You know more about me than anybody else ever did."

"You know that's not what I meant. We only spent maybe 24 hours together."

"But you have to admit that it had been very good 24 hours."

"Well, yeah. But is that enough?"

"It is... for me...I mean we shouldn't get together right now, but let's see where this takes us. I want to try."

"Me too."

"How about we have that date I already planned right now. Have an ordinary rendez-vous. Let's see what happens afterwards."

"Maybe you're right. But wait, does that mean you just want the kiss in front of my front door?"

"I already had a kiss."

Dick gently placed a kiss on her hand. "Now come on! Let's get this date started!"

'Where the hell have I gotten myself into' was the last thing Mac could think until Dick dragged her outside and into his car. She was going to have a date with Dick Casablancas. Out of all people. And they had already kissed. Oh god and she liked it. A lot.

After Dick pulled out of her entrance he turned around to look at her a smile spread all over his face.

"What?", Mac asked curiously.

"Nothing. I just noticed that you did what I asked you for."

"And what would that be?"

"Wearing a sexy outfit."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot. Rob's the Man.

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Their Date had been great. Dick had rented tons of DvDs and they had ordered some food. They had watched nearly through the whole night sitting on the couch. Dicks arm warpped around her, feeling very comfortable. Dick hadn't mentioned their talk and he was obviously not going to do so if she wasn't ready.

Mac had decided to crash at Dicks after she felt herself drifting to sleep and noticing Dick already breathing very steady and slowly at maybe four in the morning. The first movie they watched had been some comedy-thing Mac had never heard of and she never would have picked out to watch but Dick had said that it was like the best film ever and Mac had to laugh all the time. And she did. They both had made jokes and Dick had made comments throughout the whole movie which had made her laugh even harder. After that they had decided to watch a horror movie – Dick had probably just wanted to hold her if she got scared, but Mac hadn't mind – and she actually _got _scared and Dick _had_ held her. She had been slightly embarrased but Dick hadn't said anything and Mac was sure that he was pleased to see her holding onto him. She had insisted on seeing some independent film afterwards in which Dick fell to sleep pretty fast. Mac tried to stay awake to watch it until the end but it had been so comfortable in his arms that she was soon asleep as well.

They had been woken up by the sound of Macs phone ringing and Mac had realized that it was nearly noon. Her mom had called her to know where she was and when she was planning on coming back. She reassured that she was going to head straight back and Dick had taken her home after they had some breakfast.

Just as he had promised, he had walked her to her front door and they had shared the typical good-night kiss although it had been more like a good-morning kiss. He had promised to call her sometime this day and Mac had went back straight to her room.

She was now sitting on her bed holding on tightly to the sweatshirt Dick had borrowed her the day before. She could still smell his scent although it wasn't as strong as it had been when he gave it to her. Mac didn't even know how she had gotten into this position. She was behaving more and more girly and she often didn't even notice it. Mac never had liked that kind of girls before and now she was becoming one of them? What the hell was wrong with her? She never had been like this with Cassidy.

Cassidy.

She hadn't thought about him since the night with Dick some days before. And now the guilt was coming back. She was about to go out with Dick Casablancas. Cassidys brother. Dick-brother-of-her-dead–ex-boyfriend-psychotic-murderer-and-rapist-Casablancas. She felt the tears coming back again. 'No', she thought. 'It's not my fault that Cassidy fucked up. I have a right to move on and to chose with whom I want to do that. And it seems that I have chosen one Dick Casablancas. It is not my fault!' But she couldn't really repress the snagging feeling of guilt and before she could even realize what she was doing, she was holding her phone and dialing a number.

"It's me, Mac. Sorry to bother you that early. I just need to talk to someone right now. Could you please come over right now?"

* * *

It had been maybe only twenty minutes until Mac heard a knock on her door.

"Come in!"

Mac was sitting on her bed, her face turned away from the door.

"I didn't expect you to call me. What's wrong?", she heard a voice quietly asking.

"It's just...I'm feeling so confused right now...I don't..I just wanted to talk to somebody right now and there wasn't anybody I could call except for you. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. Just tell me what's going on."

"I know you said you didn't want to talk about this but I really need this right now. I don't know what to do Veronica."

"So you want to talk about _Him_ ," Veronica stated. The kindness and calmness had left her voice entirely from one moment to another.

Mac turned and looked directly at her. She could see the hurt and the anger in Veronicas eyes but they soon faded a little. She had probably seen in what kind of state Mac was. Veronica sat down on the side of her bed.

"It's just that I feel so guilty", Mac said. "And now that I'm kind of dating Dick –" Mac had expected to see at least a little suprise in Veronicas face but she showed no sign of it so Mac continued. "I feel like betraying him. I mean if he weren't dead, if he hadn't been this other person I didn't know, I know that I wouldn't be with Dick right now. And I feel guilty for ever feeling something for Cassidy. How can I have possibly loved someone who was that bad? He was crazy and I didn't notice it. I didn't really knew him...I...He..."

Mac started to sob uncontrollaby.

"It's not your fault. Nobody thought he was capable of doing such things."

Mac couldn't control it anymore. She started to cry. Veronica looked at first like she didn't know what she could do. The only thing she could think of was letting Mac know that she was there for her. So she put her in an embrace.

After some time Mac finally got herself together again. They broke their hug but still remained very close to each other.

"I'm so sorry Veronica. I shouldn't have called you. We had argued yesterday and now I sit here crying about the boy who raped you. I know you didn't want to talk about it. And you must feel horrible now."

"Let's just not talk about this. Okay? I'm not ready for it."

"Yeah sure."

"Maybe we should talk about you and Dick."

Mac blushed heaviliy.

"Can't say that I didn't expect it", Veronica said with the hint of a smile on her face.

"You wouldn't be Veronica Mars then would you?"

"Probably not."

The two girls started to laugh. Mac felt the tension between them leaving.

"You know after you nearly yelled at me on the phone that I wouldn't know Dick and that he was the only person you could talk to it kinda punched me in the face."

"I'm really sorry about that. "

"Forgive and forget. But you totally owe me something now, you understand?"

"And do I believe right that you want this favor very soon?"

"Maybe...But let me talk to you about Dick first."

"Veronica, I know that Dick doesn't seem to be –"

"Wait! Just let me finish. I hope that you are very well aware of the Dick you knew before. And you should consider the fact that Dick is as you said the only person at the moment in your life who has similar feelings to yours. But that doesn't mean that noone else is there for you and tries to understand you. You don't have to depend on him. But if you believe that you can trust him and that he's worth it, I'm going to believe you."

"That's the point. I do trust him. But what does this tell about him? Nothing. I also trusted Cassidy. I loved him. But now see what kind of person he was. What tells me that I can trust my feelings now? My judgement about people isn't the best."

"Just because you misjudged someone before doesn't mean that you are going to make the mistake again. You just have to believe in yourself. Take the risk. But be sure that you know the consequences this might have."

"You're right. Thanks Veronica."

"And you're trusting me right now and believe me that you can trust me."

"Yeah. That's true."

"So do you know what you want to do about Dick yet?"

"I dont know. I'll have to think about it for some time. Why?"

"Well, if I'm going to ask you for that favor now it would probably be better if you had already made up your mind about Dick."

"What do you want Veronica?"

"I need you to go to a party this night. There had been rapes on the Hearst Campus again."

"What? No! And now you want me to do what? Play the bait for you?", Mac said sarcastilly.

"That's actually what I thought. I can't do it myself because they already know me after I was the person who solved one rape last year. But Logan and I are going to the party too. We'll keep an eye on you. We're just going to pretend that we just wanted to go to the party and Dick is going to try and get some informations from some fratboys."

"Dick is coming too?"

"That's the reason I suggested you make up your mind about him."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Do you want me to answer that?"

"Where is this party and when should I be there?", Mac sighed.

"That's my girl! The party is today. I'm going to tell you the details later. Now we need to find you something to wear that tells everybody that you are easy to get."

"I don't think that you'll find something like that in my closet."

"That's why I have some clothes for you in my car. Wait a minute I'm going to get them."

"You really enjoy this, don't you?"

Veronica got up from the bed and walked towards the door. Before leaving the room she turned one last time around flashing a smile at Mac. She really did enjoy this.

* * *

Mac could hear the music blasting from one of the houses in front of her. She could see many people heading into it, none of them looking very familiar. College hadn't started yet and she hadn't met any of her future student fellows before.

She was so going to kill Veronica. She had brought clothes with her after she had gotten back from her car that made Mac look like one of these girls she hated so much. She was wearing a very short black skirt and highheels. She couldn't really walk in them but she was hoping that noone would notice and that she didn't fall with them. How could one possibly run in them or even walk without breaking their ankles? She had a tight red top on which barely covered her breasts and her tummy. Veronica had curled her hair and put it into some kind of a bundle. It didn't look that bad but she was feeling very uncomfortable.

Would she have always been like this if she had been with her real parents? Would this be her life?

Mac thought about Veronicas plan once more. She should get into the house and flirt with some guys. Veronica insisted that she didn't drink anything at all but acted like she really drank them. Veronica and Logan would keep an eye on everyone who would try to take advantage of her situation. How come that Veronica could always persuade her into doing these things?

As Mac was wondering about all these things she didn't notice the person walking right in front of her. He was obviously going into the house too, but after he looked over his shoulder he stopped immediately and turned. Mac ran into him and nearly fell because of these damn shoes. He managed to hold her before she reached the ground and she found herself in his arms.

"Mac? Is that you? What the hell are you doing here?"

Before she even looked at the persons face she knew in whose arms she had fallen. She could smell the scent that was becoming so familiar to her. The one she had tried to get out of his shirt. It was some mix between his aftershave and pizza, although she couldn't smell the beer–scent he normally had.

"Dick! Hey!" She was feeling kind of embarrased still laying in his arms so she tried to get out of them and stand on her own. This snapped Dick out of his stupor and he let her go. They stared at each other for some time before Mac finally said something.

"I assume that Veronica didn't tell you something about my invlovement in this case?"

"No. She just wanted me to talk to some guys and try to find out something about the rapist. I thought it was the least I could do after...you know?"

Dick still couldn't say it out loud. He had been the one that put Veronica and Cassody into the room at Shelley Pomroy's party and they all knew it.

"Yeah...so I think we should head in then?"

"wait! What's your part in all this?"

"Isn't that kind of obvious?", Mac asked pointing to her outfit.

"Err, no?"

"Dick, do you actually believe that I would go to party dressed like that?"

"I suppose if I say yes you're going to hit me."

"Of course I wouldn't dress like that! This is just to get some guys flirting with me and let them think that I am easy to have, idiot!"

"Wait, so are you telling me that you are playing the bait for Veronica?"

"That's my part."

"You can't do that. What if the rapist is there? What if he tries to get you? What if someone drugs you?"

"As much as I appreciate your concern Dick"; Macs voice surely had a hint of sarcasm in it, "I think I can handle it myself. I'm not as stupid as I might look in these clothes."

"Don't you understand? I care about you. I don't want anything happen to you!"

Mac finally got the point. He wasn't thinking that she couldn't do it. He was just worried. He cared about her.

"I know", Mac said gently. "I just need to do this okay? I want to help Veronica. I want to do something. I just have to. I can't explain it but after what happened with Cassidy I just need to do something if I can."

At the name of his brother Dick visibly flinched but his eyes that had been in some kind of an stare softened.

"It seems I can't persuade you to not do this."

"No you can't."

"Well then we should head in. But this doesn't mean that I won't look out for you."

"I wasn't expecting something else."

They walked towards the door. As they were about to enter Mac felt something at her ear.

"You look very beautiful tonight.There is no need to feel uncomfortable."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot.Rob's the Man.

* * *

The party had turned out to be a flop. Mac had really tried her best to seem easy to get and everything although she had been feeling very uncomfortable with it and the fact that Dick had been staring at her the whole time and had seemed to want to get into a fight with nearly every other guy she flirted with or even talked to, hadn't improved her act. So noone had tried to take advantage of her _situation_ and Veronica wasn't very happy about that.

She didn't blame Mac but Veronica had really hoped that this would help her investigation about the rapist. She had confessed to her that the reason that nobody took advantage of Mac was probably because of the fact that everybody knew that she was trying to find the rapist. She needed to find another way of solving the case and Mac was happy that she wouldn't have to play the bait another time.

And she was sure that Dick was quite happy about that too. She really loved him for being so overprotective. Wait, did she just said she _loved_ Dick? Mac really needed to make up her mind about him. How could she even think she could love again? And Dick Casablancas out of all the persons in the world? No she couldn't love him. Not yet. Later maybe. Yeah, maybe. She was going to stick with that decision for now.

Dick was driving her home after the party. They had been leaving the party together and Mac believed that this was his way of showing the world that he wanted to be with her. That he wanted her to be his girlfriend and that everyone should now about it.

As he stopped at Macs house she turned to him and looked at him. He was staring out of the window deep in thoughts. His hair was growing longer and Mac had to resist the urge to touch them. It reminded her of a scene in a tv show where this one girl had a crush one a boy because she thought he had this beautiful hair and without realizing touched it and embarrassed herself. Now she knew how that girl must have felt. As she first saw that scene she had laughed about it and thought that nobody would ever be so stupid to do something like that or even thought about it.

Dick finally noticed her stare and turned to look at her. He saw the smile on her face and wondered what she was laughing at.

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

"C'mon Mackie. What is it?"

"Don't you ever call me Mackie! My name is Mac!"

"Actually I thought your name was _Cindy_ ?", he said with a smirk on his face. She visibly flinched at the use of her birth name. God how she hated that name and that smirk. But it made him look soo cute. But she would never tell him that. He was already too fond of himself.

"Oh you shouldn't have said that. Big mistake! Now I have to kill you. But first I have to torture you to tell me who told you that."

"Uh, is little Cindy threatening me? I'm sooooo scared", Dick said in a mocking tone, one hand on his mouth.

"You don't think I could do that?"

"I don't think that you could harm anybody. You're just too sweet for that. Sorry."

"We'll see!", and with that Mac reached over and tried to tickle Dick. Unfortunately, he turned out to be not very ticklish and soon Mac found herself in his lap, winding her body in agony because he tickled her himself. He had fast found out that her tummy was the most ticklish part of her body and he wouldn't let go of that advantage. Mac was laughing uncontrollably and not until she couldn't breathe anymore and screamed out for him to stop did he back off. She tried to steady her breathe but then realized how close they were and her heart started to beat even faster.

"So what was it again with you saying you needed to kill me?", Dick asked leaning his forehead against hers, something he had seen Logan often do with Ronnie.

"Me? Threatening to kill you? Are you sure you didn't confuse me with someone else? Do you really think I'm the kind of person who wants to kill her boyfriend?", Mac asked before she could stop her mouth from forming the words. Sure, she had finally made up her mind about their relationship, about him, but it had been maybe only seconds ago and this was not quite the way how she wanted to tell him that she liked to be his girlfriend. _Great job Mac! Why don't you tell him that you thought about loving him too!_

She had took him by surprise. Did she just say what he tought she did?

"What did you just say?" He needed to know if she had been serious or if she had slipped it accidentally.

Mac saw him looking at her, his eyes home of many different emotions. Surprise, hope, fear and something she couldn't quite identify but which made her send shivers down her spine.

"I...I said that...you...I really would like to be your girlfriend... I want us to be a couple...I-"

Dick didn't need to hear more. Before she could finish her sentence his lips had captured hers. For a split of a second she was surprised but soon melted into him. She was feeling this thing in her tummy again that she couldn't describe. She had felt it a lot lately. Everytime when he touched her and it felt good. Really good.

They were clinging onto each other, none of them wanting to let go of that moment they shared. The kiss grew more and more passionate. Mac could nearly feel him inside of her like he was reaching every part of her soul with his tongue. She had never felt so open to anyone before, so vulnerable , but at the same time so content and happy and every possible positive emotion she could have. It was like he could see into her heart, her soul and her mind. At this very moment, they were one person, with one heartbeat and one body.

The seconds moved on which seemed like hours. Eventually they broke their kiss, both in desperate need of air. That was the moment when Mac got aware of her position and the growing _thing_ underneath her. She immediately sat back into her own seat her head turning towards her window not wanting to look at him. Dick was at first confused by her reaction until he noticed the effect that Mac had on his body.

They didn't look at each other for a good four minutes until the atmosphere got too awkward and Mac got out of the car. Before she she closed the door of his car she turned to him again finally looking at him.

"So, I guess I'll see you sometime...errr...Maybe you could call me?"

"Err...sure...Bye."

"Bye!"

Dick watched Mac getting into her house and closing the front door. He then pulled out of her entrance trying to get home as soon as possible. He was in the urgent need of a cold shower.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anythingexcept for the plot.Rob's the Man.

* * *

Talk about awkward. This was definitely one of this situations where the word became a new meaning.

Mac had dodged all of Dicks phone calls for the last few days. Although she had asked him to call her she just couldn't force herself to pick up her phone when she saw his name on the caller-id appearing. What the hell? She knew he was getting annoyed. He had tried to call her maybe two times the day _after_ , five times the day after that and even 10 times on the third day. But it seemed that he had finally given up. No calls on the fourth day. And no calls this day so far.

Mac didn't even know why she couldn't talk to him. It's not that it was that big of a deal. It was a totally normal occurrence, but why the hell did it made her feel so weird. She never thought that anyone would ever feel something like that about her ever. She knew she wasn't the sexiest girl but she felt no need to be one. Guys normally just looked over her to watch the girl with the better looks instead of her. They didn't notice her. Even Cassidy never reacted in _that_ way to her. At least not that she knew of. But it's not that she really knew him anyway, so why bother?

But Dick _had_ reacted. He obviously _had_ noticed. And she didn't know what to think of that.She always knew that he was a horny teenage boy but now that it was directed to her? That she caused it?

Her relationship with him – if she could even call it that – was in no way like the ones she had before. Well, like the _one_ she had before.

And to make it all worse she was feeling rather bad now. She really liked him. She let this one incident turn into the reason why she would never see him again. That's at least what she thought would happen, because she had rejected him. He had obviously given up on her.

Anyway. Why the hell had _he_ been so confused. Was he surprised that she could have that effect on him? That the computer geek could turn him on?

Mac felt the rage boiling inside her.

She did feel bad because she turned him on? No way! Fuck you Dick Casablancas!

* * *

Dick was startled by the sound of his cell phone ringing. He was sitting on the couch in front of the TV, a flask in his hand. He had been contemplating wether to drink or not.

Mac had rejected him. He knew it. It wasn't that hard to tell. Not after she dodged everyone of his 17 _fucking_ calls. He got the point. Even he wasn't that dumb to pretend that everything was okay. Although he had no _fucking _clue why she wouldn't want to talk to him. Okay so he had gotten a hard-on. She had just felt so good on his lap. And the kiss. Well that was one hell of an experience. There had to be some kind of reaction of his body to it. He had never felt like that with anybody else before. Had there first kiss been great, the second one was definitely _mind-blowing_ .

He had been so confused when her mood suddenly changed and she had gotten out of his lap. Hadn't she felt the same? And then she noticed what had caused the change and that she was just feeling embarrassed. Which had made him embarrassed.

But he hadn't thought that it had that much meaning. He had called her the day after, but she hadn't picked up. He had thought then, that she was obviously still too embarrased and he had thought it was kinda cute. The next day came and he had tried to call her _seven_ times and she still hadn't picked up. First he had been getting annoyed but then worried. What if something had happenend to her? What if maybe the rapist hade been there on the party and was now out to find her? He even called Veronica to find out if she was alright. She had reassured him that Mac was fine. She had talked to her just a few hours before.

That was about the time when he got angry. On the third day he had desperately tried to get a hold of her. The first – maybe three – calls, he had wanted to take his anger out on her. Why couldn't he talk to her. But then it hit him. The one thought that he just couldn't get rid of. What if she didn't feel the same at all? What if she just liked him. Nothing more? Even if the kiss had been amazing. For him at least.

The next six calls, he hadn't been able to supress the urge of wanting to know answers to these questions. He was in desperate need of them. But still, noone answered his calls.

Dick had made the last call with the idea that if she wouldn't answer this one too, the tenth call this day, that he would give up. He would accept that she wouldn't want to see him anymore. Not that he liked the idea, but he knew that he couldn't handle any more three minute calls(that was about the time he let the phone ring until he was sure she wouldn't pick up), the beeping mocking him. He even imagined that the beeping spoke to him. _She doesn't want to see you. She doesn't like you. Clue in. She hates you. Give up. Just give up. Give up. Give up. _

So he had. Before he would become more crazy than he already was. Not that he could be much more crazy anyway. Could you even measure craziness?

And now he couldn't even drown his sorrow in alcohol. WTF?

Dick just couldn't force himself to bring those flask to his lips, let the calming liquid burn through his throat, let it take his mind over. He had promised not to drink anymore. To her. It didn't matter that she didn't knew about that promise. The one he had made to her. For himself. For her. For them.

Even if he wouldn't admit it, he was scared that the alcohol would bring the other Dick to the surface again. The dumb, reckless jackass side of him. He had told Mac that he had just pretended to be him. Maybe that was true, at first, but he couldn't supress the thoughts that there definitely was this part of him hidden somewhere deep inside him. That it wasn't that much of an act as he wanted to believe it was.

But he didn't want to be that _dick _anymore. He wanted to be the Dick he was for Mac. The one that cared about her. The one that made her laugh. The one that loved to hold her. The one that coulnd't get enough of the feeling of her. Her warmth, her skin, her touch, her heartbeat. Everything about her that made him the person he was. The person he wanted to be.

So why didn't he just drink? There was obviously no _them_ left. No Mac left. No one to save him from himself. Why didn't he became the other Dick again that was so much simpler?

Because there was still hope. Hope that maybe she would think about it again and would call him. Hope that there was still a chance for a _them_ . That she could still save him no matter what.

That's why he was so startled when he heard his phone ringing.

Fishing for it in his jeans he nearly jumped when he saw her name on the caller id. Finally!

"Hey Mac! I'm so glad – "

"Dick Casablancas!", she yelled at him through the phone. "Fuck you!" She didn't even realize that these were the exact same words she just thought seconds ago, before she reached out for her phone, dialing his number furiously. She didn't even know how she managed to do it correctly but she obviously had.

Dick was baffled. What had he done now? Was she angry that he hadn't called yesterday? She was the one that didn't want to talk to him. He desperately tried to figure out what he had missed.

"What? I don't –"

"I said fuck you. You don't like the fact that the Nerd turned you on? You think that I'm not worthy enough for your sex thoughts? Well, Fuck you!"

Before he could even think about responding to that, not that he could make any sense of what she was talking about or had any idea how he was supposed to respond to that, she had hung up.

Yeah, Dick had definitely missed something. What the hell was that?


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot. Rob's the Man.

* * *

Mac had needed some time to calm herself after she talked to Dick. She had been furious with him. Who the hell did this guy think he was? She had felt also somewhat relieved that she had stood up to him and told him her opinion. She had definitely shown him off. And that felt great.

Until it struck her. She had yelled at _Dick Casablancas_ about his _sex thoughts_ about her. OMG! That didn't happen! It couldn't. There was no way she said that. No freaking way!

Back to the embarrassing-stage. She had already been there four days ago. And now it was totally her fault. How could she ever look into his eyes again? How could she ever face him? How could she ever face _anybody_ again? She would have to stay in her room for the rest of her life. No way she would go into the world knowing that she got angry at Dick for having a sexual reaction toward her.

Goodbye Hearst!

She had planned on going to Hearst in two weeks when college started. Not that she would still be able to actually go there now. She had planned on having a new life. Go back and have a new start after high-school.

Goodbye new life!

No leaving from home. No living at the campus. No sharing rooms with a complete stranger. She had already thought about who the person could be she would have been sharing her room with. Not that it still mattered now.

Goodbye friends!

Well that wouldn't be that much of a problem since there weren't many people Mac could call a friend. Life wouldn't change that much. And she still had her computer. The one thing she was good at. Her refuge when she needed one. Her distraction if something had went wrong. After all, she had just told Dick that she was a nerd. Time to act like one.

She went to sit in front of her pc and turned it on. She wanted to distract her with some work. Maybe do the homepage for this guy who had asked her for help. She had met him at some of her favorite internet-sites,which was all about computers and stuff. He needed help to make a homepage for his new founded company and Mac had offered to help. She hadn't had that much to do anyway for the last four days, except for avoiding Dick, and she always liked to do something like that. People couldn't understand how much fun this work could be. It was more of a hobby than a work anyway.

She thought about the last time that she made a homepage like this. It had been the one for Cassidy and his FBLA-project. That was about the time when the two of them got together. But hadn't she told herself that she wouldn't be the girl anymore that she had been with him? That girl would do exactly what she was doing right now. Hide and pretend nothing was wrong.

But that's not what she wanted. She wanted to go to Hearst. She wanted a new start. She wanted to leave home and live at campus. She didn't want to abandon the friends she had. And she definitely wanted to see Dick again. Maybe not for the next week but sometime.

She knew she needed to apologize. It wasn't enough that she admitted to herself that she had been completely wrong. Well maybe not completely but mostly. Dick didn't deserve this. He had tried to call her so many times and she had rejected him on every single on of them.

It was time to make amends.

But with that came the next problem: How?

How was she going to apologize to him? How could she reasonably explain her outburst? And most importantly: How would he react? Did he even want to see her again after this?

* * *

Dick was totally confused now. If he had been confused before the weird phone call then he definitely was ueber confused now. What the hell was Mac talking about? She hadn't given him much information about why she was so angry at him but he was quite sure about the angry-part itself. The yelling and insults had been enough indications. Even Dick wasn't that dumb.

But he was dumb enough to not know what was going on. Mac had been angry at him for - what was it again?_Him getting turned on by the nerd_ or something like that. What the fuck? What should that mean? After all, he was just a boy, a teenage boy with his hormones in overdrive. He surely wasn't gay so he _had_ to react. He was Dick Casablancas after all. Even if he _changed_ he still liked the ladies a lot. And Mac was one of them, a hot one to be precisely. She wasn't the type of girl he had preferred _before_, but he couldn't deny that she was his type now.

He had to do something about this. There had to be a reason for Macs behavior and he was determined to figure it out.

Dick knew he couldn't call her. She would just not answer it again so this was not an option. The only other way he could think of was to drive to her, hope that she was at home and make her tell him. He wasn't going to give up. The other Dick would have done that and just searched for another girl to get laid and forget about the other one.

But not now.Not him.

Now was the time that he showed Mac that he was different. That he could be different.

He went to his car and set off.

Mac came to the conclusion that she couldn't just call him again. Even if he did pick up -what she doubted – what was she going to say anyway? _Hey Dick, I'm sorry! I don't now what's gotten into me. Forgive and forget?_Yeah, that would so do it.

No she had to do something else. She had to see him in person after this. She had to face him even if this was the last thing she wanted to do right now. But she had to. If she waited just a little longer she would make it all worse. If it actually could get much worse than it already was. She knew that it was pretty awful at the moment.

She would have to drive to him, face him and talk to him. She just hoped that he was at home when she arrived.

* * *

Dick was standing on the porch of Macs house. For the last five minutes.

He had thought about what he was going to say throughout the whole car-drive. He had thought about how she could react and how he could make her understand. How he could make her trust him to tell him what was wrong.

But now his mind was blank. He hadn't knocked because all of his words were gone. Nothing left in his mind. Blank.

His mind didn't even notice that he was standing in front of a door looking rather stupid. Not only hadn't he knocked before, but he just stand there his gaze stuck on the door. Like some idiot. If somebody had watched him standing there he would have probably thought that Dick was crazy.

He finally got out of his stupor when he saw the door opening and the person standing in front of him looking rather confused.

* * *

Mac was standing in front of the door, confused. She hadn't expected that. Of course she had thought about it before but she didn't really consider it. Dick had been at home just minutes ago. She was sure. What was she going to do now? 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I dont own anything except for the plot. Rob's the Man.

* * *

The person that opened the door wasn't the one Dick expected. It wasn't Mac like he had hoped. 

In front of him was Macs mother.

"Dick! Why, hello. What are you doing here?"

"Hello Mrs McKenzie. I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to see Mac, can I come in?"

"Oh , I'm sorry dear. Mac had left the house just minutes ago. She didn't tell me where she was heading. I thought she was going to visit you but she obviously didn't do that."

"Oh", was all Dick could reply. It was then that he noticed the lack of Macs car in the drive-way. The car Dick thought was ridiculous, but of which he knew that Mac loved it. Why hadn't he noticed it before? Oh yeah, he had been in this idiotic stupor where his mind went black.

"I'm not sure but maybe Mac is at Veronicas. You should try to find her there."

"Thanks Mrs McKenzie. Have a nice day!" Dick thought that it would be better if he just left. His impression on her was already not the best. _Dude, she doesn't think I'm like a stalker or something? I'm not! But she probably thinks now that I'm an idiot. You are doing this stare thing again. Stop it dude. She had definitely seen this before when she opened the door and if you keep looking like that she might think that this is your_ thing _and we don't want that now, do we? Way to impress the mother of your girlfriend. That is if she still wants to be your girlfriend. Since she said that, some pretty awful things happened. You have to find her!_

Dick looked at Mrs McKenzie again. He saw pitiful eyes staring back at him, waiting for some kind of reaction.

"Sorry Mrs McKenzie. What did you just say?"

"I said you too, Dick! I hope you can find her."

"Me too", Dick mumbled. He turned and went to get into his car again. Off to Veronica!

* * *

Dick wasn't at home. That was what Mac knew. What she didn't knew was _where_ he was. 

She had knocked for over five minutes before she finally gave up. She had at first thought that he just didn't want to see her but after she was now still standing in front of a closed door she had to accept the fact that he wasn't home.

Now she had to find him. But where should she start to search?

After some minutes thinking she came to the conclusion that he was likely to be found at Logans. He was his friend after all.

* * *

When Veronica opened the door she was shocked. In front of her was Dick Csablancas, a rather desperate and sad expression on his face. He actually looked quite pitiable if Veronica hadn't known better. 

"Dick! What do you want?"

"Hey Veronica. I was hoping you could tell me were Mac is. She's not at home and I need to see her."

"What have you done now? What did you do to her?" Veronicas voice was getting angry. She had known it all along that the relationship between Mac and Dick was a stupid idea. Had known all along that Dick was a jackass and would hurt Mac someday. The day had arrived sooner than she had thought.

"I didn't do anything! Why do I have to be the person that did something wrong? Why can't this be Macs fault?"

"Mmm, let me think about that. Whose fault could it be? I think yours. I mean you are the guy that's standing in the door of the friend's girl which you desperately want to find. I think thw situation is rather clear. "

"Sorry to disappoint you _Ronnie_ but it seems your not that good at this detective stuff as you think you are. Anyway, that's none of your business. Just tell me if you know where she is and then I'm outta here!"

"Of course it's my business if you did something to Mac. She's my friend! If you don't tell me what happened then I'm not going to tell you where she might be."

"So you don't know either where she is. I'm wasting my time."

"No, you're not. I might now where she is. Now tell me!"

"You want to know what happened? Fine! I'll tell you! Mac called me and said that she was mad at me for getting a hard-on. Happy?", Dick yelled.

Veronica was shocked. That was not what she expected.

"Maybe you should come in and tell me exactly what happened. I believe that that's not the whole story, is it?"

"But of course! Let's get inside! Hand me some tissues and get some ice-cream and I'll pour you my heart out!", Dick said with fake enthusiasm.

"No way dude! I'm not a chick and definitely not gay!"

"Whatever, Dick. Just come inside and tell me everything. It might help me to find out where Mac is if I know the whole picture."

"Fine. If this makes you tell me were I can find her!"

They went into her apartment and Dick let himself fall onto the couch.

"You sure about the ice-cream and the tissues?", Veronica asked jokingly, but Dick just gave her a stare and Veronica knew that this was going to be a serious conversation.

"So tell me what happened. Start at the beginning", Veronica said seriously.

"Well..."

* * *

"Mac! What are you doing here? Veronica's not here. She isn't going to be for the next few hours to be precisely." Logan was standing in the door, looking rather tired, like he had just got out of bed only a few minutes ago, a puzzled expression on his face. 

"Hey Logan", Mac said somewhat shyly. She still hadn't gotten to the fact that he was dating Veronica again and was treating her civilly. Veronica surely had some power over him if she could turn him from being a jackass to everyone to a somewhat friendly and caring person.

"I was hoping to find Dick here. He isn't, is he?"

"Uh no, sorry. But why don't you come in?"

Without waiting for an answer Logan got back into the hotel suite. Mac followed him.

She saw his playstation in front of the tv – he had obviously wanted to play before Mac got there because she could see the credits of the game still running over the tv screen– and some old pizzas sprayed over the floor.

_Maybe Veronica hasn't that much power over him after all_

Logan sat in front of the tv again and held out a controller to her.

"You wanna play?"

"No thanks. I just need to find Dick. I don't have that much time. Do you know where he might be?" She wouldn't admit it but being at the Neptune Grand again was scaring her. She headn't been here since-

"So you and Dick, huh?"

"What about me and Dick?"

"Come on Mac. I'm not stupid. First I see you two leaving the party together and now you want to find him. So you and Dick? I'm surprised. First Beav- Cassidy and now Dick? I mean although they were brothers they didn't have much in common. I never thought that you and Dick-"

"Even if there is a me and Dick", Mac interrupted him, "I think that's none of your business. Now could you please tell me where I can find him or should I tell Veronica how

you treated her friend? I'm sure she would like to know."

"That's mean Mac. Don't play dirty! I didn't want to insult you. I'm sorry but I haven't seen Dick since he left the party with you. I don't know where he might be. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be. I should go now."

Mac was about to leave when she heard his voice one more time.

"Are you planning on telling Veronica? Please don't. She wants me to get along with her friends and if you tell her she's going to be mad at me. I mean I didn't insult you or something."

"It's okay Logan. I won't tell her. See ya!"

"Yeah and good luck with Dick. You'll find him."

"I hope so", Mac muttered under her breath as she exited the suite. "I hope so."

* * *

"...and then I went straight to you 'cause Macs mom said she might be here", Dick finished his story. 

"I think it was all just a big mistake, that's all", Veronica contemplated. "She thought you were confused that she could have such an influence on your body. She thought that you hadn't expected that and she got angry. I think she was just embarrassed at first. You two should have talked earlier. She wouldn't have had time to interpret it all wrong then."

"That's it? She just talked herself into believeing that I was ashamed?"

"I think so. I wonder why she didn't talk to me though. Probably because she was embarrassed."

"So now that you know everything can we come to the part were you do your PI-thing and tell me where I can find her?"

"Just give me a minute." Veronica walked into her room. When she returned she had her notebook with her. She sat down next to Dick and started typing something.

"What do you do?"

"You know when we were at that party to find the rapist? I put a tracer into Macs cell phone. If something had went wrong I would have known where she was. I'm just checking it now."

"So where is she?"

Veronicas eyes widened.

"Where is she?", Dick asked forcefully. Something was wrong. Why didn't Veronica just tell him. What was it?

"She's...she's at the Neptune Grand", She said disbelievingly.

"She's at Logans?", Dick yelled. "What's she doing there?" Veronica could nearly see the jealousy dropping from his words.

"Calm down."

"No! I have to leave. I have to go there. Thanks Ronnie." i _What is Mac doing at Logans? She wouldn't...he wouldn't. No way! Not Mac. But what the hell is she doing there? She and Logan definitely aren't buddies or something. Ronnie is as surprised as I am and she would know if there was something going on between them. She is Veronica Mars. But she had also been wrong when she had accused you of having done something wrong_. Dick could hear this voice in his head saying again._So maybe she doesn't know everything after all. Maybe-? Stop it. I'm going crazy! I have to find Mac, I have to go now!_

"Wait!" The voice of Veronica brought him back into reality. "Let me first call Logan. Let's see if she really is there, okay?"

"Whatever." Dick was fuming. He was going crazy. This girl was going to get him into the nuthouse, he was sure. He had to find her before his mind was a total wreck. He had to find her as long as his mind was still properly working.

Veronica went to the phone and dialed Logans number. She held out her forefinger to Dick as an indication for him to remain silent during her call.

"Hey sugarpuss!", Dick could hear Logans voice talking over the loudspeakers Veronica had turned on. Dick had to supress the urge to snort. _Sugarpuss_

"Logan."

"What's wrong?", Logan asked his voice sounding concerned. He had obviously caught on the serious tone Veronica talked to him.

"Nothing big. If you could just hand the phone over to Mac so I could speak to her?"

"Mac? She's not here."

"I know she's with you so just give her the phone."

"I don't now what you are talking about. Yeah she was here but she left at least twenty minutes ago."

"That's weird. Do you know if she had her cell with her when she left?"

"How the hell should I know that. What have you done now Mars?"

"Nothing."

"Come on. I know you. Tell me. And how do you know that Mac would be here anyway?"

"I might have put a tracer in her cell", she admitted softly.

"You are sometimes impossible you know that?"

"Maybe. Is there any chance that she left her cell at your suite?"

"No, she was only some minutes here. Asked if I knew where Dick was but I didn't know so she left. Why do you want to find her."

Veronica didn't listen to Logans last sentence. "She must still be somewhere at the Neptune Grand", she murmured.

"What did you just say?", Logan asked.

"I just figured out that she must be still somewhere at the hotel."

Dick thought about what Veronica had just said. _Mac is still somewhere at the hotel but Logan said that she left twenty minutes ago, so she can't be in his suite. If she isn't with Logan then maybe..._

"Huh so why do you want to find her?"

"Dick-", Veronica started but was interrupted by the sound of the door closing.

"Veronica? What was that sound?"

"Dick just left. He had wanted me to find out where Mac was."

"Dick came to you? He really must like Mac if he did. I didn't thought they were that serious. Well that Dick was this serious."

"Neither did I."

* * *

The moment Mac was in her car again, she broke down. She had messed everything up. She couldn't find Dick and even if she did, that didn't mean that everything would be good again. Her life wasn't a fairytale. No happy-ends for her. The one time she had thought her life could be somewhat near a fairytale it had ended the worst way possible. She couldn't have gotten a worse ending than the one with Cassidy. He was a murderer and he comitted suicide after attempting to kill her friends and stealing her clothes leaving her naked and lost in a hotelrooom. What a nice happy-end! 

Mac gave up. She didn't give a damn anymore if she was weak again. If she was the person that she never wanted to be again. Fuck the world! Her life sucked and whatever she did it never got better. Everytime it seemed to get better, everything fell into pieces.

It all had started when she had gotten the bike she wanted for her birthday. Well that's the first memory where she knew that she could never be entirely happy for once. She loved her bike and was never seen without it for the next days after her birthday. Only one week after, the bike was destroyed. She had bought herself ice-cream and left the bike on the street. The garbage-collection-car drove over it. This was the first time she noticed that she couldn't be happy for a long time. She had been very little at that time and thought that she maybe got cursed by a mean witch but someday a prince would come and rescue her. But she wasn't little anymore. She knew that there were no princes, no knights who had to rescue the damsel in distress.

There were many other times, like when she had gotten all the money of the purity-test-homepage to buy her car. She had been so happy that she had been able to take advantage of the stupidity of the 09ers and shortly afterwards found out that she should have been one of them. That she wasn't with her real familiy. That she got switched at birth. Something like that i had /i to happen to her.

And last but not least the _Cassidy-incident_.

_Way to go Mac! You live the fucking life of a soap opera!_

She wanted to see where her life had once more turned bad. She had to see the place where _he_ had turned her life once more from good to bad. Where he had made the decision that led her into being a sobbing mess for a long time. Where he had decided to jump.

Mac was going to go to the roof of the Neptune Grand.

* * *

**AN: **Okay so I started posting this at LJ and because I always need feedback I posted it here as well. I'm still writing on it and I would really appreaciate it if you could just click on that purple button that says review...(It's not that difficult you know?)TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!! 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot. Veronica Mars and all the other characters belong to Rob Thomas. He's the Man.

* * *

Dick was driving so fast he expected that the sheriff would stop him any minute. Wait! This was neptune after all. The sheriff's department was just a bunch of idiots. It would be like a miracle if they caught him. How many times had he and the gang done something _illegal_ and the idiots nearly stood by? Too often.

Dick had to stop thinking about this. It was neither the time nor the place to contemplate about the sherrif department. He was on a quest. Yeah, he was on a mission just like he was inside of one of his games. The hero had to save the chick. That was what he was about to do. Well, he hoped that there was no need in saving someone but who knew? Why was Mac there anyway? She was either on the roof of the hotel or in the hotelroom Cassidy had rented _that day_. The latter was bullshit. No, she wouldn't go there. He knew it. It was like he had gone psychic like that dude in this tv show so many chicks were talking about at the moment. He had heard some talking at the mall the day he had rented the DvDs for his and Macs date.

Their date. That had been one of the best days of his life. Not that he would admit that a day where barely _anything_ happened was one of them.

_Mac was sitting close to him, one hand on the couch nearly touching his, the other at her mouth. She was biting her nails like she was scared of the movie. They were watching some horror movie which was the best type if you wanted a reason to be close to each other without being obtrusive. This was Dicks chance. He could try to act like nothing and casually take her hand in his. But this was way easier to say than to do. He was actually nervous. What if she didn't want him to? What if it was just a coincidence that her hand was lying so damn near his. His hand was getting sweaty. Fuck! He couldn't possibly hold her hand now if his own was like a fucking wet towel. Why the hell was he so damn nervous about this? It wasn't that he wanted to propose to her or something like that just hold her hand._ Come on! You're Dick Casablancas. You had probably more girlfriends than she had read books. Well, maybe not that many but that is so not the point._He felt like he was some twelve year old boy having his first date._Get a hold of yourself dude. Just fucking do it!_He was finally about to take it when he realized that he still hadn't done anything about his sweaty hands. This was not something he would do but Cassidy. He had even told her that one day about it. At the ridiculous carnival. He would never forget this day. Not because Cassidy finally somehow stood up to him and embarrassed him like he had never done it before but because it was the first day he really noticed her. Not only saw her but noticed her. Although he wouldn't have admitted it then 'cause he couldn't even really admit it now, but it was the first day he saw something different in her. She wasn't like all the other girls he knew and he liked that. But at that point she had still been the geek-girlfriend of his baby brother. Now, it was completely different. He was on a date with her._

_It was about time to make a move. Dick tried to dry his hand on his jeans, hoping that Mac didn't notice. He was happy to see that she didn't because she was too wrapped up in the movie. It wasn't even the scariest movie he had seen like that one with the three dudes going into that forest and vanishing one after the other while filming it. That had scared the hell out of him but this was just some minor horror movie twelve year olds secretly watched._You had felt like one of them just seconds ago, remember?_ Anyway Mac was looking like she was really scared. So he finally made his move and slipped his hand over hers. She didn't stiffen or something which he thought must be a good sign. So he started to stroke her hand in circles with his thumb in what he meant to be a soothing motion._

_That went on some minutes until he realized that Mac was pretty close to him. When had that happened? Minutes ago there was at least a foot between them and now there were merely some inches. What the hell? It was then that he noticed her slightly shifting near him so he did the only thing he could think of. He put his arm around her as casually as he could. Dick was surprised when she even put her head on his shoulder but enjoyed it nevertheless._

_He secretly took in her scent. He felt like the happiest person in the world if he could stay like that forever. He was totally content right at this moment._

_They must have stayed in that position for a long time because he didn't realize that the movie was over when Mac shifted in his arms. Not that he was really watching it anyway. She was getting out of his embrace to change the disc and Dick swore that he saw a blush on her cheeks. He maybe hadn't been the only one who had been nervous._

_"Now that we've seen the movie you chose I believe that it is now my time to choose the next one."_

* * *

Dick was startled when he heard a knock on his window. He was already at the Grand and someone stood beside his car. He had managed to get here without really watching were he went. He had been so wrapped up in the memory.

For maybe a second he had thought that it was Mac, how impossible that would have been, but it wasn't her. It was some random dude who was looking at him in confusion. Why did he have that effect so often on other people lately? He must have looked like some idiot to this guy.

"Go away!"

Fortunately he did as he was told and Dick was left alone. Not so good. Had he been in a hurry just minutes ago, he was now in this stupor again. The time when he couldn't stop his mind from thinking so much. What if he was too late? What if she didn't want to see him? What if he'd be the reason she'd do something stupid if he just showed up? What if she wasn't there? What if she had just lost her phone at the hotel and was already somewhere else? Dick was scared. Really scared. But there was no point in contemplating so he finally got out of his car and went in.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mac didn't knew what she was doing here. This was just like one of these times when she thought too much about everything and made herself believe things which led her in these situations no sane person would get into. Like the one with Dick. She knew that she had been completely insane as she yelled at him. She had had no right being angry at him.

And the situation she was in right at the moment wasn't that good either. She was standing on the roof of the hotel were her ex-boyfriend, slash murderer, slash rapist, slash psychotic had committed suicide and turned her world upside down. And not the good upside down like she had felt sometimes with Dick. The really bad one.

Pictures started in her head, like some kind of movie. She could nearly see Veronica, her face in a tortured expression because Cassidy had just blew up the plane her father was supposedly in, staring in disgust at him. Could see Logan storming onto the roof to rescue her. Could see Veronica pointing the gun at Cassidy after their fight. And last but not least Cassidy standing on the edge of the roof saying "That's what I thought" and stepping into that place were no one could follow him.

It was times like these that Mac regretted asking Veronica about all the details. After she had told her more or less what had happened she just wanted to know everything. Even if it had been very painful for Veronica, she just had to knew it at that moment. It had helped her to accept that this wasn't just a bad joke or a dream. That this really was her life. But that fact hadn't helped to erase all of the memories she didn't have for herself but that kept forming in her mind like they were hers. Like they belonged there. Like she was supposed to be in them. Just like now.

Mac stepped toward the place she thought he must have breathed his last breath before falling into darkness. She wanted to see the last things he had probably seen in his life. No scratch that. She didn't knew what she wanted there just that she had to be there. To lock it all up somewhere deep hidden in her mind and finally move on. Maybe not like she had hoped she could but at least in some way. Somehow. Anyhow. Just doing it. If she wouldn't do it soon she would never be able to do it. She had to take that one last step.

* * *

Dick was standing in front of the door which would lead him to the roof. He only had to take that one last step, but he was afraid to do it. He was afraid of the things he might see or not see if he took it. Taking all his courage he opened the door and was greeted with the sight he had feared the most.

Okay, I know you probably all hate me now but let me explain. I wanted to write more. I really wanted to write the talk they would have on the roof but I had some kind of a writers block and I couldn't write more. I had this written for maybe three days and waited for some ideas but none came. So Im posting it like this and hope that there will be more soon. I am truly sorry. But I hope you enjoy it as it is now.

Comments are love


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Veronica Mars and all the other characters belong to Rob Thomas. He's the Man.Sorry that it took so long...

* * *

Mac was standing on the edge of the roof, looking on the ground. What was Dick going to do now? What if he startled her and she fell? How should he approach her? It was then that the door to the roof closed with a noise and Mac nearly jumped in surprise. It was pure luck that she held her balance and didn't fell of the roof. And of course that Dick was at her side the second he saw her swaying. He was faster than he had ever been. The fear that she could fall giving him strength.

Mac was lying in his arms, puzzled, confused and a little afraid but also relieved. He was here. That had to be something good. He wouldn't be here if he didn't want to be, if he didn't care.

They stayed like this for a good ten minutes, he holding her in his arms their eyes looked in some gaze, neither of them daring to speak, because it could ruin the moment until they finally realized where they were and what had just happened. Mac tried to get out of his hold. The first seconds Dick didn't want to let her go but he finally did.

She stumbled out of his embrace and backed several feet away from him.

"Dick?"

"Mac."

"Dick", Mac said in a voice that had a hint of disbelief.

"Duh. Of course it's me. Who'd you expect? Do you want me to repeat your name now too? We could keep this play up for some more time."

"Dick!"

"See."

"Oh shut up! What do you want here?"

"Oh, let me think about that. Oh my god! You're right!", Dick said feigning ignorance, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "What the hell am I doing here? I have no clue. How did I get here? Seriously Mac, what do you think?"

"Why would I ask if I knew?"

This was so not going like Dick had planned it. Well, he hadn't really planned anything but it was not like he expected or wanted it to go. He wanted to hold her in his arms again, make sure she was alright and then kiss the hell out of her. And now they were arguing.

"I wanted t know where you are, make sure you're alright. After your last call, which I didn't understand like at all by the way, I got worried and tried to find you."

"You were worried?"

"Yeah that and I wanted to know what the hell you were talking about. So I went to your house but your mom said that you had left just minutes ago. She told me that you could be at Veronicas and I drove to her. She searched you with her cell tracer and told me that you were here. Well, at first we thought that you were with Logan –" at this point Dicks voice was getting deeper and rougher. _Is he jealous? At Logan?_ "-but after we called he said that you had been there but left like twenty minutes ago. I figured out that you must be here so that's how I got here. Sorry that I cared. You happy know?"

"You did all this to find me? You even went to Veronica?"

"Yeah. I even had to have one of this girly moments when she wanted me to tell her what had happened. She thought it was all my fault. But she helped me figure you out. In some way at least."

"You figured me out?"

"Oh I'm pretty sure now that I understand you."

"You do?"

"You have the attitude to talk yourself into believing things until nobody but you knows what you are talking about. You want to change so that you aren't the person anymore you had been before. With Cassidy. But you aren't always able to do it and that scares you. That's makes you believe that you are crazy which is like the first thing I metioned. You talked yourself into it. You do all these things because you are confused and you're feeling guilty."

"Feel guilty about what?"

Dick took some steps toward her. Mac backed away again, but there was not much space left, because she was getting nearer and nearer to the edge of the roof. Minutes before she hadn't been sure if she had minded to fall, to end it all but she wasn't so sure anymore. And she definitely didn't want to do it in front of Dick. So when Dick took another step she couldn't get away from him and they were now standing right in front of her.

"Moving on?"

"Why should I feel guilty about moving on?"

"Because you think you aren't allowed to. You think that it was your fault what Cassidy did. That you could have stopped him in some way. Not that it's the truth but it's what you believe. You think you don't deserve to move on because you had felt something for him and that makes you a bad person. You still feel something for him despite everything and you hate yourself for that. But that's not all. You feel guilty that I'm the person with whom you are moving on. And you don't want me to be this person.

I know this is fucked up. I am fucked up, we are fucked up, he fucked up but should we let this get between us? I thought there was something connecting us. And even if you don't see it right now I don't want to give up on it yet."

While Dick had been holding his speech,tears had been starting to fall down Macs cheek. She looked him deep into his eyes to see if there was any doubt or lie but she couldn't see anything but sincerety and she knew he meant all he had said. She took a step toward him and it was now his turn to take a step back.

"Don't you want to kiss me right now?", Mac asked somewhat hurt. "'Cause that's what I wanted you to do right now."

"No...Well, yes but first I want you to tell me that you trust me. I want this realtionship to work more than you can think. You mean so much to me but this can't work if you don't trust me."

"I do."

"You sure 'bout that?"

"Yes."

"Well if that's so..." And with that Dick took the last step and crushed his lips on hers. If somebody had seen them he would have thought he had gotten into some kind of love movie. A boy and a girl standing on the roof of a very tall building, the moon shinig upon them so you could only see their silhouttes leaning into each other in a passionate kiss. But nobody was there to watch them. Not that the two of them would have noticed someone else anyway.

After what felt like an eternity they finally broke off, both of them smiling happily.

"Don't you ever dare to scare me like this again, do you understand?"

"You were scared?"

"Of course I was. When I heard that you were here-"

"You'd thought I would jump." It wasn't even a question. She could still see the fear in his eyes when she had stumbled at the edge."

"Well, yeah. In some way."

"I must admit that I thought about it", Mac let out with a sigh.

"Just until you came here though. I couldn't have done it with you standing by. I realized that I didn't want to leave you. It's just that my life is like some fucking soap opera. Each time I think it's going pretty well, something awful happens and I have to start from the bottom again. I thought I'd lost you. I had been irrational with you and then I couldn't find you and-"

"You didn't loose me. And you never will. I'll always be there for you."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Both of them knew that he would probably not be able to hold his promise but they were happy for now and that was all that mattered. Maybe in some way this was the day were the prince had finally found Mac and lifted the curse. But even if he didn't she would appreciate each and every moment of it until it went bad again. That was all she could do and it just had to be enough for her. For them.

But nevertheless she wasn't going to let it go without a fight. She was going to fight for their relationship -for him- no matter how much it would cost her, because she knew that this was something specia. Not because of their background with Cassidy, but because he was the one. Not that she would tell him that now, but sometime. She just hoped that he felt about her the same way. And there was a very great chance that he did, because after all the time she had spent with him lately she knew that Dick Casablancas was a marshmallow – and he was her marshmallow.

fin

* * *

Yeah that's it. I'm so sorry it took so long. This is not nearly as good as I wanted it to be but I hadn't been able to write it better. A writer's block surely is the worst thing imaginable. But I hope that it's not too bad. Anway, thanks for all the readers who stuck with it until the end. I appreciated allthe reviews even if it weren't that much. 


End file.
